Driving Test

Turtle (whining): I want a snack in the car!

Me: I don't have a snack in the car. We'll get one when we get home in a few minutes.

Turtle (demanding): I want a snack in the car!

Me (ignoring him):

Turtle (in a surprisingly angry yelling voice): Mommy! I want a snack in the car! Mom! I want a snack! I need a snack! (continue repeating for 5 minutes with increasing intensity and tears)

Me (humming a tune to myself to help with the ignoring): hmm hmm hmmm hmmmmm

Turtle pulls top buckle of carseat down to belly button level and gives me the "oh yeah, what are you gonna do about that!" look.

Me (sternly): Push that buckle back up now.

Turtle (ignoring me): 

Me: Turtle, push that buckle up or I can't drive. (note to reader: This has worked in the past.)

Turtle (surprisingly calmly, with a mischevous smirk): Don't drive.

Me (damn! called my bluff!):  OK, then I guess I'll have to pull over and park and we can't drive home to get that snack.

Turtle (wickedly calmly): Okay.

Me (double damn!): Turtle, if you don't push that buckle back up a police man is going to come and we are going to get in trouble.

Turtle, eyes wide, quickly pushes buckle into proper position.

[Note: Good to know that although my 2 year old is at the peak of testing me, he has a healthy fear of the long arm of the law! The weird thing is that other than pointing out police cars as a type of vehicle, we have never explained to him what a police officer is or what they do. No matter. If it works, it works. I'm using it again!]