Apples' Brand Management

I know how to punctuate.  I'm not talking about the computer company.  I'm talking about the fruit.  I didn't think that apples needed brand management, but clearly I am behind the times.  Can you believe these ads I recently ripped out of magazines?  

It's definitely cooler to remove the healthy fiber from the apple, add preservatives, burn a ton of fossil fuels to process and package it, and then toss the packaging into a landfill.  Yup.  Way cooler than crunchy biodegradable old school apples.  And totally equivalent "servings" of fruit. Totally.  

Oh, yes, the "after" is definitely better on this makeover.  Makes the apples appear to be fried in trans fat.  Plus they must douse them in some awesome chemical to keep them from turning brown like old school apples do.  That's what makes them "fresh", because, you know, regular apples aren't "fresh".  

I understand that Capri Sun and BK are employing the best strategies they can to compete with readily available inexpensive healthy apples.  After all, you have to have a compelling reason to buy an apple from these corporations when you can get one from a backyard tree, farmer's market, or grocery store.  So, they've added value by making their form of apples seem "cooler" than the real ones.  

Just what we need is kids who expect and only enjoy apples that have been relieved of their peels, natural texture, and taste (since they are served with caramel dipping sauce).  Or that can be sucked through a straw from a shiny package.  

This reminds me of those anal-leakage inducing Olestra chips they used to have and all of the diet snacks that look and taste like candy bars.  Not to mention diet soda and such.  Way to train the brain to appreciate healthy food!  Eat chocolate bar looking things and chips and drink sweet tasting soda all day so that the only tastes and textures you enjoy are chocolate bars and chips and sweet tasting soda.  That will certainly go a long way toward helping you reduce inappropriate food cravings!  You never learn how to appreciate, enjoy, and even crave fresh veggies and fruits and less sweet foods because you never give body a chance to adjust to them.  It's all ridiculous!

OK, I'll get off my soapbox now.  Especially considering I polished off a diet soda earlier and I just blogged about my recent fast food "binge".  But, please, apples?  Aren't they already pretty cool the way that they are?