6.08.2008

Breaking Up With My Pick Me Up

Dear Caffeine,

We can't go on like this. I have fun when I'm with you and you make me feel alive, but I'm losing sleep and being on this energy roller coaster is taking its toll on me. I should have never initiated this relationship with you. For all those years, you were around in the background, but I didn't see what others saw in you. And then I distanced myself from you for a good 18 months after Turtle was born. After that, I should have just stayed away. But you tempted me with morning clarity and late night productivity and you knew just how to pull me out of that 4 pm slump. Hanging out once or twice a week became stealing visits with you multiple times a day. And now I'm stuck in this cycle of rendezvous, guilt, fatigue, breaking away for a few days and then crawling back in desperation after a few nights of lost sleep and the realization that no one can make me feel just like you do. Somehow I can already see that this will be one of those long complex break ups and that you aren't going to help me by letting me go. But I hope you care about me enough to realize that I need to cut you off, that it's the best thing for me. And I know you'll find someone else. There are plenty of other sleep deprived overworked moms out there.

I'll never forget the good times!

Farewell,

Chelsea

2 comments:

Casey said...

I hear you, and I'm here for you. Caffeine and I have broken up many times over the years and we somehow find ourselves back together. Be strong.

Still, now that I'm in a long-term relationship with wine, the ups and downs with caffeine are easier to take. I'm sure there's a healthier solution than cutting my caffeine tweaks with alcohol, but it probably requires effort or sacrifice.

Chelsea said...

Nice to hear from someone who's been there and...is still there. Gives me hope! ; )

I've recently started flirting more with wine, but it's not a committed relationship yet. Don't have any effort or sacrifice left to spare, so I'll most likely end up in the same menage a trois as you.

I wonder how many more of us are out there?